rough day

I need somewhere to just let it all out... here it goes.

So med school is freaking hard! I knew it was going to be hard, but not near as hard as it is. The material isn't necessarily difficult yet, it's just the amount of information that is being presented. There is so much information that it's hard to really learn the material well enough. Then we have tests practically every 2-3 weeks. I had a midterm yesterday and didn't quite know how I felt about it. Got the results today. I got a 68%. Passing, but barely. I feel like I put so much time into studying that I don't really have any more to give! Everyone says take some personal time, and I do, but if I were to study any more, I would be cutting into that personal time. I feel like I have to have a good night's sleep to really focus, and I'm not really willing to sacrifice my sleep, and possibly my relationships because I'm sleep deprived and irritable. And... to add to the blow of a crappy grade, I also found out that the application I submitted to be a student ambassador was basically just looked over. It could be because of my grades, but I doubt that having less than a day to look at all the applications is enough time to give it a good consideration. I really wanted that because I feel that it would add to my CV. At this point, I need all the help I can get.
I've been considering applying to the MBA program lately, but I think I've found my answer. NO. If I'm not doing well in school as it is with the work load, how am I going to be succeed when I add a completely new degree to it all.
Here's the thing...I just feel that all of my efforts to do well in school, and eventually provide a good life for my family rests on what I am doing right now. If I don't pass this test, or get a better grade, or whatever, then  a little bit of that dream gets flushed down the toilet. It sucks. I know Kristi is here to support me, and she's doing a great job at it. I just feel like if I don't excel at this, and eventually provide that better life, then all of this was for naught and we kind of just wasted our time and we could've made our money doing something else. I think I need to get out and go to the ER or something to shadow some doctors to get a feel for what I came here for. I think I've lost sight of that recently. I keep trying to tell myself that I AM IN MEDICAL SCHOOL. 6 months ago, I couldn't wait to be in medical school no matter how hard it was going to be. Today, well... I don't wish I was back at that point, but I just wish things were a looking a little brighter for me. That sounds super lame, but it sucks just being an average student. But, on the bright side, I do have a great wife, 2 good dogs (most of the time theyre good), and I AM IN MEDICAL SCHOOL!